Marriage Counselling In Melbourne

Many couples seek marriage counselling as a last resort to save their relationship before it ends in divorce. Sometimes one spouse is about to leave before the other realises the extent of the marital problems.

Marriage Counselling MelbourneWhen distressed, partners get overwhelmed by their feelings, so they defend by discharging the pain, often causing their spouse to feel attacked. These defensive reactions are used to protect against underlying feelings. Married couples become stuck in these defensive reactions and have no way to deal with the hurt. Couples find it hard to express themselves, and when they get stuck in marital discord, they find it difficult to come out of it.

Some spouses can get so caught in powerfully charged emotional states that they can lose grip of themselves without a marriage therapist. We at Counselling Service Melbourne assist couples in dismantling these stuck positions, enabling them to resolve their issues comfortably.

Marriage Guidance Counselling

Many couples find it hard to step outside these stuck positions, without the strength of marital therapy to re-align them. From our earliest experiences, we’ve  learnt how to deal with our feelings, in particular ways. But often these coping patterns get in the way of an intimate relationship. It is only with the containment of a marriage counsellor, that these marital issues get worked on, by transforming stuck areas that penetrate the relationship.

John Gottman studied marriage failure, and he found that predictions for divorce stem from negatively raising issues by using criticism, contempt, defensiveness, and stonewalling.

What causes marriage breakdown?


  • Avoiding expressing how one feels.
  • Bringing up issues once it’s built up, so you end up attacking the character of the person rather than addressing the behaviour.
  • Lack of contribution and participation in the relationship.
  • Expecting your partner to know how you feel or what you need without telling them, thinking that they can read your mind.
  • Avoiding clear communication.
  • The blame game - finding fault in the other for the problems.
  • Withdrawing from conflict or stonewalling to escape emotions.
  • Avoid showing hurt feelings
  • Stop being interested in each other’s lives.
  • Forcing one’s point of view to get heard, without listening to your partner.
  • Letting emotions distort the way of seeing each other.
  • Holding others responsible for how we feel instead of owning our feelings and dealing with them within ourselves.

Reasons to seek marriage counselling in Melbourne

When couples remain stuck in these defensive positions, they are unable to respond to each other’s needs. John Bowlby studied what happened to children when their emotional needs were not met, and the same applies to married couples.

With couples, when one’s emotional needs are not responded to, it can lead them to protest to try to elicit a caring response from the other. This can be seen as becoming hostile to get a reaction. Then depression or despair is felt if one’s emotional needs are still not met. The last response is detachment or disconnection; many couples enter therapy at this point. If you notice your marriage moving from protest, despair, and then onto detachment, then marriage counselling can save your relationship to prevent divorce.


With Counselling Service Melbourne, you can learn how to address the issues in your marriage to put your relationship back on track before it is too late.

Melbourne Marriage Counselling 2Counselling Marriage 4

Counselling Marriage Guidance 3

For those who feel that marriage problems come predominately from individual issues, rather than joint issues, these individuals can work through relationship patterns in individual therapy for relationship counselling.

Our counselling specialists have done post-graduation training in couples and family therapies. They integrate emotionally focused couples’ therapy, psychoanalysis, attachment therapy, and systemic modalities into a coherent framework for treating couples.

Before you seek marriage counselling in Melbourne, check the training that your therapist has received specifically in couples work. According to Professor Lawrie Moloney, a former senior researcher at the Australian Institute of Family Studies, more harm can be done by seeing a therapist without specific training in couples counselling, "Quite a few people are willing to work with couples or families without being adequately trained in working with more than one individual".

Contact us today

Use the enquiry form or call 0449 861 147  to book an appointment. Sign up for our newsletter for free tips and advice on relationships.

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