Do you struggle with relationships and find the same patterns keep occurring? Relationship Counselling Melbourne offers individuals the opportunity to unlock the relationship patterns that keep them stuck. Some individuals seek relationship therapy when they feel that underlying issues are getting in the way of relationships.
Sometimes we are not aware of the part we play in relationships, until we notice that certain scenarios keep happening. The truth is, if these patterns do not get resolved in therapy, they keep occurring until the underlying emotions are addressed.
Relationship counselling dismantles destructive relationship patterns
Many individuals attend relationship Counselling in Melbourne when they experience repetitive relationship patterns
- They wonder why they hold onto abusive relationships.
- They wonder why they attract partners who are unavailable.
- They have difficulty being on their own.
- They feel disappointed when their partner stops putting effort into the marriage.
- They keep feeling abandoned.
- They are mistrusting, insecure, and jealous.
- They exhibit clinging, controlling and possessive behavior.
- They have a fear of commitment or a fear of intimacy.
- They move on to partners quickly.
- They display passive-aggressive behavior or have anger management issues.
- They fear abandonment, often avoiding conflict.
- They begin a relationship in love but end up bitter and resentful.
- They cut off relationships when the going gets tough.
- They engage in infidelity to escape problems in the marriage.
- They lack emotional intimacy and have communication breakdown.
- They let others control them.
Why does it feel like they‘re attracting the same relationships? With counselling for relationship issues, many uncover how they re-create these patterns. We may think our partner causes us to feel a particular way, but sometimes these feelings are deep within ourselves. When painful experiences remain buried, they are later relived in our adult encounters. These repressed feelings become triggered in the couple relationship. These feelings often belong to the past, but are forgotten, and then are unconsciously awakened, distorting how you see your partner and relate to them.
A wife might feel that her partner does not care about her needs and neglects her, yet she may be reliving the pattern of not meeting her own needs and then accusing others for not considering her needs. Making others responsible for meeting her needs prevents her from expressing them. The more we attribute our feelings to others, the more we do not take responsibility for the part we play.
Defensive relational patterns occur when trying to ward off these feeling or putting them onto our partners. All of a sudden, the partner is projected to be the rejecting spouse, and acts accordingly. Often, the more we accuse others for things, the more we are projecting disowned aspects of ourselves onto them. In this example, the husband can be projected as rejecting, while the wife disowns her fear of rejection. The more we repress our feelings, the more they play out in our relationships, by attributing the problems in others, rather than addressing the feelings deep within ourselves.
At our relationship counselling services, overcome relationship patterns caused by discharging unwanted feelings onto others, who become affected by them. These feelings are so intolerable that you can lose grip of seeing yourself and your partner when defending against these feelings. Many do not see the impact of their behavior and the destruction it causes, by not sorting out these feelings.
John Gottman described criticism, blame, defensive reactions and contempt as harsh ways of communicating that destroy relationships. These defensive patterns protect against underlying feelings, yet they create barriers to understanding each other. It is the way that couples deal with each other’s emotions that builds a strong foundation or not. Being heard for how one feels when expressing one’s 'self'’ is imperative for a strong relationship.
Couples who continually dismiss their partner’s feelings, can actually push them away, preventing them from opening up and getting close, and causing them to gradually distance from the relationship. No one likes to feel ignored for how they feel, it brings up pain and feelings of rejection. Couples can end up finding other avenues to be heard or validated. Attuning to each other feelings, understanding and acknowledging them, will foster deeper intimacy.
Build a stronger foundation for your 'self' by resolving underlying issues with Relationship Counselling in Melbourne
At Melbourne’s relationship counselling services, we find that most relationship disturbances stem from individuals protecting themselves from facing difficult feelings that they cannot handle. They may run away from issues in their marriage, discard partners when they feel hurt, or cling to a partner to avoid abandonment. These ways of avoiding feelings can sabotage their relationship, leaving them with no way to address the problems in their relationship.
In fact, avoiding underlying feelings and resorting to defensive coping strategies causes the 'self' to remain impaired. A healthy sense of self occurs when a person can be in touch with their feelings and express them in a way that fosters a deeper understanding or connection. An unhealthy sense of self occurs from avoiding feelings, creating destructive patterns in the marriage, for instance, many resort to affairs to escape feelings of not being good enough. Relationship Counselling Services Melbourne allows individuals to manage unwanted emotions, so defensive patterns do not get in the way of having a healthy relationship. When the ‘self’ is more cohesive, they can openly express feelings and negotiate needs with their partner. When one can effectively work on their ‘self’’, they can offer a relationship what it really needs for the partnership to be cohesive and whole.
Relationship therapist Melbourne promotes intimacy
Relationship counselling service in Melbourne assists individuals to rebuild the 'self, so that they can foster healthy relationships'. Relational therapy manages unwanted emotions, allowing the 'self' to become cohesive and cope with triggering encounters. Relationship counseling allows individuals to see themselves and others more clearly, so they can relate in a more attuned way. Intimacy counselling overcomes the roadblocks that get in the way of intimacy.
At Counselling in Melbourne, discover how the coping responses that protect us from pain can end up working against us in our present relationships. Melbourne Relationship counselling dismantles these defensive coping styles, so true intimacy can develop.
- Personality Disorders
- Couples Counselling
- Individual Counselling
- Counselling topics of Interest
- Affairs in marriage
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