The real reason you’ve become unhappy in relationships may surprise you.

The actual cause for you to be unhappy in relationships may surprise you.  Has your relationship got to the point that you are stuck in blaming  each other for the cause of the problems and wanting the other person to change? Well this common couple dynamic prevents you from resolving the real issue.

Maybe you feel unhappy in your relationship because you want your partner to be more considerate. Perhaps, you wish they could be less selfish and consider your needs more. Do you wish that the relationship was not all about them?

Are you feeling unhappy in your relationship from constantly trying to meet your partners needs, that you end up resenting them for not acknowledging your needs? Do you get upset when they do not notice how you’re feeling?

Have you ended up becoming increasingly bitter and resentful towards them?  You may even secretly think about leaving or flirting with someone else.

As a couples therapist I see many couples who simply locate their unhappiness in their partner who becomes responsible for how they feel, Yet this can trap them from finding the real source of their unhappiness.

Guess what? You have to take some responsibility for your unhappiness instead of locate the blame in your partner.

If you do not consider your needs than they will not consider your needs. If you negate yourself, they most likely will not consider you also. Yet, you put your needs onto them, hoping that somehow they will fulfil your needs, rather than meet your own needs.

Do you blame your partner for the cause of why you’re unhappy in your relationship?

You may think that if your partner changes than you will be happy. In fact, your happiness needs to come from within yourself rather than changing your partner. Understanding yourself and what holds you back in relationships can be the single most powerful way to overcome marital disharmony

The real reason you may be unsatisfied in your relationship may be because you’ve been trying to get your needs met from your partner. Maybe you think that if you please them, they will meet all your needs and make you happy. Maybe you do not actually http://windhampharmacy.com online pharmacy feel worthy inside, because you feel undeserving of your partner, so you ensure that they’re happy with you, so you can feel good enough to them.

Whenever when you look externally to feel better, you avoid the very thing that makes you unfulfilled in relationships. In actual fact, the more you give up yourself in order to appease others, you end up feeling used or taken for granted when your needs do not get met.

You may not be aware of it, but you may be so focused on making your partner happy to avoid feeling not good about yourself. Yet, this pattern can trap you into feeling dissatisfied in relationships and may be the real reason why your relationships breakdown.

Perhaps you think that you’re unhappy in your relationship because your partner constantly nags you or tells you off, so you cannot please them or make them happy. So, you’ve tried to please them and give them what they want and nothing you do feels good enough.

Ways you end up feeling unhappy in your relationship by making your partner responsible for how you feel

• Perhaps you ignore your partner or blame them for being too picky or critical, because they raise issues in a way that causes you to feel not good about yourself. So you avoid them because you do not want to be judged, criticised or told what to do.
• Perhaps you’ve become passive to avoid conflict, so you walk on egg shells and try to get out of the bad books with your partner.
• Maybe the more you run away from facing things, the more passive you’ve become to deal with things, causing your partner to get mad at you. So, you end up blaming your partner for how worthless you feel, since they’re always complaining about you.
• Perhaps you make others responsible for how you feel about yourself, by not taking charge of yourself. Perhaps you blame them for how worthless you feel, rather than acknowledge how your partner triggers these feelings within yourself.
• By trying to satisfy your partner, or make them happy, by passively complying and giving yourself up, means that you’re not functioning for yourself.

Wanting to fix your relationship by changing your partner is the most common reason couples remain unhappy in relationships

You may be unhappy in your relationship because you feel that the problems are your partner’s fault. Perhaps you think to yourself, if they were not so selfish then you would be happy.

It may be that the real reason you are unhappy in your relationship is because you want your partner to change instead of taking control of yourself and negotiating your own needs in the relationship. By giving up yourself in relationships, you are letting others have their way and you’re allowing your needs to not be met. If you keep blaming your partner for how you feel and not take responsibility for yourself, you will remain feeling unhappy in relationships. Blaming others instead of looking within yourself  for change can cause unhappiness in relationships.

Nancy Carbone is a relationship therapist with a M Soc Sc (Couns) who is passionate about assisting her clients to obtain long lasting love by finding love within themselves. If you want to find happiness within your relationship you can visit her website or sign up on her free newsletter to discover all the secrets on how to receive the love you want.

For enquiries use the contact form.

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