When Love Doesn’t Feel Enough

If you feel love isnt enough

Do you have this lingering feeling of being unsatisfied in your relationships? Are you finding yourself continuously feeling the despair of rejection or not feeling good enough in relationships? Perhaps, you are exhausted by feeling alone. When love doesn’t feel enough it’s often because you don’t feel enough.When being loved is not enough, you can continue to want more love. If you don’t feel loved you can search for love in others instead of finding love within yourself.

When you’ve suffered abandonment or unmet love from your childhood you can internalise that you’re not good enough, and subsequently turn to partners in the hope that they can make you feel good enough.  So you yearn for someone to make up for unmet love, and become let down when no one can make up for it.

When is love not enough you keep seeking it from others

When you long to be loved it’s because you don’t love the person you are and want someone else to love you so can and escape these feelings.
The fantasy of romanticised love can trap you into chasing the feeling of love. So you may even ignore any problems or abuse in your relationship, in the hope that someone will make up for your unmet needs and give you the love you want.
Well, sadly this hope keeps getting crushed because no one can take away the pain and suffering for you. So you’re left feeling unloved because love doesnt feel enough. You are left with great longing and an empty heart that is unfulfilled. So the search for unmet love continues, outside yourself.
When you don’t love yourself you can think that your partner does not love you, by looking for evidence to confirm the way you feel about yourself. No matter how much they re-assure you that they love you, you don’t feel it, so you can push real love away.
The truth of the matter is no one can make up for unmet love and give you what you’re searching for, if you don’t heal yourself by finding the love within yourself and meeting your own needs.
No one can give you what you can’t give yourself. If you let go of needing something from others because you’ve healed yourself, you don’t need to look outside yourself to feel good enough. Instead you will be more open to receiving and giving love back in a realistic way.
When love isn’t enough, perhaps your hope keeps you from experiencing the kind of love you can to give yourself. When you heal yourself, you can become kinder and more loving towards yourself, so your real self will radiate and shine within.  When you love yourself, you will feel enough for someone who is also good enough for you.
When you feel that others caused you to feel unloved there may be a possibility that you’re externalizing your feelings so you don’t feel them. Instead of locating your feelings externally in loved ones, try to locate them internally and question why you don’t love yourself. This way you do not make others responsible for how you feel and take responsibility for sorting out your feelings so they do not control you. This will allow you to embrace who you really are and become loved for the real you.
When you  love the person that you are, you don’t need others to fill void and you can give a relationship what it really needs so that love feels enough.

When love isn’t enough it is because you don’t love yourself

When you don’t love yourself you will most likely feel not good enough for someone else. You will most likely be searching for someone to fill those unmet needs and make up for past hurts in order to feel good enough. The truth of the matter is, no one can change the way you feel about yourself, so you will most likely feel disappointed or let down when love doesn’t feel enough. When you don’t love yourself, you can’t express how you really feel in order to feel loved in the right way. When you protect yourself in ways that push real love away you can’t get the love you want.
Nancy Carbone is a  psychotherapist and relationship expert who has a M.Soc Sc (couns). If you feel love isn’t enough you can lean how to love yourself and embrace real love by contacting Nancy at  Counselling Service Melbourne. You can sign up on her newsletter for free advice and tips

She also offers couple therapy and counselling for depression to assist individuals to feel more content within themselves.

For enquiries use the contact form.

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