Borderline Personality Disorder
At Borderline Personality Disorder Counselling Melbourne treat the symptoms of BPD.
How to recognise the signs of BPD at Borderline Disorder Counselling in Melbourne
- Those who suffer borderline behaviors have a pattern of instability in relationships, ranging from being intense, to being volatile, or ending abruptly.
- The individual who is BPD suffers from a dysregulation of emotions, depicted by mood swings, ranging from feeling good to feeling bad, feeling loved to feelings of intense anger.
- They lack a stable sense of self and view of others. How they see themselves and others can change regularly, and can be distorted or disproportionate to the real situation.
- Those with BPD suffer extreme abandonment feelings during times of separation, during efforts to self-activate or when they assert themselves.
- James Masterson described Abandonment Depression, which can include severe feelings of isolation, emptiness, loneliness, suicidal ideation , anxiety and depression. The borderline acting out is centred around avoiding the abandonment depression.
- A person with BPD displays frantic efforts to avoid real or imagined abandonment, depicted by clinging to relationships, to distancing to avoid abandonment. Often, these abandonment feelings are outside of the person’s awareness, and they do not see how they are driven by them.
- Symptoms of BPD include a person displaying primitive defenses to avoid dealing with aspects of reality or avoid their feelings. Primitive defenses include: denial, splitting, projection, acting out, dissociation, repression and compartmentalization.
- Those with a borderline disorder will act out or use risk taking behaviours to alleviate intolerable feelings, with sexual promiscuity, as well as reckless or impulsive behaviors such as drug and alcohol abuse.
- Those with a diagnosis of borderline suffer from a distorted sense of self or negative self image, characterised by feelings of self-hatred, self-loathing, unworthiness or not being good enough. They have often internalised that they are not good enough which clouds how they see themselves. When they give up on themselves, it prevents their real self to fully emerge and develop.
- According to James Masterson the individual with Borderline Personality suffers from a developmental arrest in the emerging ‘self’, during separation and individuation from the parent, so their real self has not fully formed. They often lack a strong conviction in themselves and do not believe in themselves, causing them to give up, and seek instant pleasure to compensate for an impaired self.
- Personality disordered individuals are easily triggered to feeling bad about themselves, but often project that others are treating them badly, as a way to rid themselves from feeling bad.
- Often, those diagnosed with BPD suffer extreme feelings which become triggered and distort how they see others by misinterpreting the behaviours of others, preventing them from holding down jobs, maintaining relationships and having careers. They struggle work, relationships and careers.
Borderline Personality Disorder Counselling Melbourne Service offers treatment for BPD or those with a Borderline Disorder of Self. Many clients with borderline disorder present with the following BPD behaviors.
- Many who attend counselling for Borderline Personality Disorder are pre-occupied with their relationships, to avoid being alone.
- Those who begin BPD treatment often negate their ‘self’ and avoid focusing on themselves because they fear being abandoned, if they do not comply to the needs of others.
- In Borderline Personality Disorder Counselling many discover how they comply or please others, often going against themselves or losing themselves in love.
- In Borderline Counselling, many protest to eliciting a caring response from others, often reacting in a hostile way when they perceive abandonment.
- In Counselling Borderline Disorders, when perceiving rejection, some will cling, abandon or become spiteful. Often, pushing away loved ones.
- At Melbourne’s Borderline Counselling Service, many alternate from clinging to distancing behaviours, love or anger.
- They turn to relationships to feel good about themselves, and then get angry when they feel the love is cut off.
- To cope with BPD symptoms some will act out, have affairs or addictions rather than address issues with their partner, to avoid separation fears.
- For those who seek Borderline Treatment, they often lack a stable sense of self, so they fill the empty self with instant pleasures or addictions in order to feel good momentarily, denying the destructive impact on their life.
- Many seek help for BPD because they suffer from poor impulse control, emotional dysregulation, low frustration tolerance or impatience, mood swings, and anger.
- Often, those who end up in Borderline Personality Disorder Counselling investing in others, rather than invest in themselves, often feeling their life is going no where or not progressing forward.
- Some borderlines feel that they cannot function adequately on their own, not trusting themselves, often forming co-dependent relationships and relying on others for support, because they lack capacities within themselves.
- They can fall in and out of love instantly, when they attend counselling for borderline personality disorder. They idealise and devalue .
- Many with BPD traits jump from one relationship straight into another, to avoid being alone
- They avoid focusing on themselves and feel uncomfortable when not focused on pleasing others.
- They often resort to self-defeating or self-destructive behaviours to seek relief from pain and escape their bad feelings or abandonment.
- At Borderline Personality Disorder Counselling in Melbourne, many are easily triggered to feeling abandoned or worthless, misreading interpersonal situations and reacting to their abandonment fantasies, rather than dealing with the reality of the situation. For instance, accusing their partner of abandoning them when they want space.
- Those with BPD have a lack of sense of object constancy - fearing the person has left them when they are not there.
- They self sabotage, by putting the needs of others ahead of themselves, until they end up bitter or resentful to others, when they lose themselves to their relationships or when their needs do not get met.
- They please others and put up with things that are costly towards them, to feel wanted.
- Splitting: they feel bad about themselves when they perceive others are mean, uncaring or abandoning. While, alternating into feeling good about themselves when perceived to be loved, rescued or taken care of. They can blame others for causing them to feel bad about themselves, by splitting off the bad feelings and projecting them onto others who are seen as bad, so they can feel good. Alternatively, in order to feel loved they can remain feeling bad by blaming themselves in relationships in order to avoid seeing the bad aspects of a partner. They often protect an abusive partner.
- At BPD counselling in Melbourne, many give into the needs of others, rather than register themselves. So, they do not always know how to protect themselves or have boundaries, feeling violated or used, and then react.
- Many do not invest in themselves, to determine what is right for them. Lacking a strong sense of self, many turn to others to take care of them or manage their life for them, instead of taking control of their own lives.
- Some feel loved and supported when others take care of them, often ending up feeling helpless and being in a perpetuating crisis.
- Many seek love for giving up themselves and pleasing others, when others do not put the same effort into the relationship, they can feel abandoned. They give up meeting their own needs in the hope that others will meet their needs.
- Many who see a Counselor for Borderline Personality Disorder, often get a secondary gain or feel good when others help them or support them, enabling their regressive behavior.
- Many see a borderline counsellor when they struggle to activate their self or do things that are right for them, when they need to sort out their life.
- Some find it difficult to take responsibility for themselves, since they do not trust their own self, which hasn't fully emerged.
- At Melbourne’s Borderline Counselling Services, some will be co-dependent, rescue or take responsibility for others to avoid abandonment. They do not always act regressively.
- For those diagnosed with Borderline Personality, their primary focus is being loved, even if there is a cost to themselves. They often sacrifice themselves for love.
Counselling in Melbourne for Borderline Personality Disorder
James Masterson, a leading psychiatrist, developed a psychodynamic counselling approach to treating Borderline Personality Disorder. By working through the abandonment depression feelings, the real self emerges, while removing the defensive acting out behaviours. In borderline therapy the individual diagnosed with BPD improves as they give up their false self-compliance of pleasing others and live according to their real self. The therapy for borderline disorders is aimed at repairing the developmental arrest, so that the real self can fully emerge and self-activate in life.
James Masterson describes those with a Borderline Personality Disorder as operating on either side of the split, either love or anger. When they seek love they reside in the rewarding side of the split and when they express anger they’re in the aggressive unit. The borderline person alternates from each side of these split positions. When they’re in the loving or rewarding unit, they feel good and loved when focused on complying with others needs to avoid feeling abandoned. When they fall in the aggressive unit, they perceive others are being bad, mean, uncaring or abandoning, which causes them to feel the abandonment depression, so they act out. Both these split positions are projected fantasies which distort how they see others and how they feel about themselves. The aim of therapy is to integrate the split, so they can see themselves and others more clearly.
The higher functioning borderlines function at a higher capacity within themselves and function adequately in life, so their BPD behaviors can be disguised. They are positioned mostly in the loving or rewarding split unit. These Borderline personality disordered individuals feel good when loved, so they are overly invested in their relationships, more than focusing on themselves. They strive for love. They are forever pleasing, giving partners what they need, even at the expense of themselves.
The borderline received love for complying to the needs of the caregiver and abandoned for focusing on themselves, so they gave up themselves to please others. They get stuck in this pattern of expecting love for complying with the needs of others. Many get angry when all the effort they put in to feel loved is not returned, shifting into the aggressive unit or withdrawing unit, when they see others as rejecting or not caring. So, they expect the love to be returned when complying to the needs of the other, and feel abandoned when it’s not.
Lower functioning Borderline Personality Disorder individuals function at a lower capacity, in the aggressive or withdrawing unit. They internalised a parent who was abusive, abandoning, or not caring when they did not comply and during effort to self activate. Therefore, they struggle with anger since they had extreme abandonment or mistreatment. They internalised a bad self-representation, with a self that felt bad for not complying and abandoned. These lower functioning Borderline Personality individuals turned this anger inward towards the 'self' by having bad self-image or being self destructive. They feel worthless and unworthy of love, so they search for evidence that their partners are rejecting them. They show hostility during perceived abandonment and when love is withdrawn from them. Their fears of abandonment are so pervasive, they push partners away, perpetuating abandonment. Yet, they desperately want love to be good enough, so they act out with clinging behaviours.
In aggressive unit, the patient experienced so much bad treatment that the anger gets buried inside, but cannot be handled inside the self. So, patients with Borderline Personality Disorder constantly discharge their anger outside of them, causing harm to others, so they don’t feel as bad or not good enough. They are often unware of their aggression or anger, feeling outraged at how others treat them. They end up taking out their feelings on others, with anger at their boss or partner, to rid themselves of these feelings. Otherwise they turn the anger towards self destructive behaviours, to release the pain.
Those with Borderline Personality often feel good and happy when in a relationship because they do not have to face the abandonment depression feelings of isolation, depression, emptiness or worthlessness. When they self-activate or express themselves, they often feel bad or abandoned.
The developmental arrest in the emerging real self is the underlying cause of Borderline Personality Disorder
According to James Masterson, those individuals with a borderline personality disorder had a parent who needed the child, so the parent did not have to face their own feelings abandonment. The child who was borderline was abandoned when separating from the parent. The parent rewarded them when they needed the parent, complied, were clingy, dependent and so on. Whereas, they faced abandonment during efforts to self activate or individuate from the caretaker. So, these children have a ‘self’ that remains developmentally stuck, scared to activate themselves for the fear of being abandoned. Those with a borderline disorder felt bad when they explored their real self, away from the caregiver, since they were ignored or reprimanded. So, they acquired a false self, based on pleasing others and giving up their real self, in order to avoid abandonment and receive love.
Individuals who suffer from Borderline Personality Disorder received loving supplies when clinging to their parent and complying to the care givers needs. The parent withdrew support for her child when exploring their self, not registering the child’s needs. So, the parent did not offer supplies for the child’s real self to grow, by giving them the support that they required for the emerging self to develop. The person who is borderline has a real self that has been developmentally arrested, as they struggle in their capacity to cope with work, study, love. Attempts to progress themselves actually causes them to feel the abandonment depression, and therefore they resist focusing on themselves and follow the pursuit of others, remaining stuck in self-defeating behaviour.
Develop the real self and overcome destructive acting out with Borderline Counselling in Melbourne
Invest in the Borderline Real Self
Those suffering from Borderline Personality Disorder can operate below their real potential, not trusting themselves to put themselves forward, to achieve what they really want in life. Many got love or reward, by feeling good for regressed behavior, not for exploring their self. This fundamental pattern keeps them stuck from reaching their real potential in life, so they live a life of struggle, hardship and chaos at the expense of their real self. Masterson Counselling Melbourne facilitates the real self to activate, wake up and continue the journey of growth and self discovery. So they can take control of their lives.
The Borderline feels the abandonment depression when they focus on themselves or attempt to self-activate by pushing themselves forward. The Masterson BPD treatment approach shifts the Borderline from acting out with destructive behaviours that hold them back, while working through the abandonment depression, so they can self activate and continue the process of self-growth. This allows them to move forward and not be stuck, by overcoming their regressive behaviour while build the real self. The Masterson treatment approach for the Borderline Disorder provides the support for the real self to grow, while regulating powerfully charged emotions, so they do not need to act out in regressive ways that are detrimental to themselves.
According to James Masterson, the acting out behaviors keep their real self stuck and will not grow, unless the borderline works through their abandonment depression and gives up their investment in focusing on others, instead of themselves. The Masterson treatment approach is a coherent framework that combines aspects of developmental theory, attachment theory, object relations, neurobiology and self-psychology for treating the borderline disorder of self.
Borderline Personality Disorder
- Personality Disorders
- Couples Counselling
- Individual Counselling
- Counselling topics of Interest
- Affairs in marriage
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