Couples Therapy Melbourne

The aim of Couples Therapy Melbourne is to dismantle the negative patterns of interaction between the couple by removing the blame and illuminating the underlying feelings.

When partners feel underlying hurt or rejection in the relationship, they can respond in ways that become unhelpful, so that their needs do not get met. Often, the way that they cope actually pushes their spouse away, rather than allowing them to understand how they feel. Therefore, the way that partners protect themselves from feeling hurt, can cause them to feel alone or not important. Therapy for couples unlocks defensive patterns between the couple.

Become free from unhelpful relationship patterns in Couple's Therapy Melbourne

Signs that couples counselling could help 

Attacking your partner

According to John Gottman, attacking the person’s character by using criticism destroys relationships. Whereas raising a complaint about a problem takes the blame away.

 Avoiding issues

Do you avoid raising issues until the problems escalate out of control, rather than solving relationship problems when they occur?

Critical

Are you critical of your partner because you are critical towards yourself deep down

Protecting yourself from getting hurt

Do you protect yourself from feeling hurt by appearing  cold, aloof and distant, by pushing love away

Avoiding conflict

You avoid expressing yourself to keep the peace.

Getting back at each other

Instead of addressing the hurt, couples end up hurting one another by getting back at each other.

Jealousy, mistrust, and insecurity

Are you anxious with insecurity and jealously by reading into things that are not there?

Blaming your partner

Do you put your insecurities or self-doubt into your partner and think they do not want you.

Needing reassurance and attention

Needing constant approval or attention can push love away.

Gaslighting

You find subtle ways to undermine your partner so that they doubt their perception of reality.

Sweeping issues under the carpet

You tell your partner to get over problems by sweeping them under the carpet and pretend they do not exist.

 Resentment

Holding onto resentment causes relationships to stay stuck.

Losing yourself in relationships

You go along with pleasing your partner and sacrifice yourself, needs or wants.

Avoidance 

Using silence as a way to hurt your partner.

When couples protect themselves from feeling hurt, by becoming defensive, they evoke a defensive response in the other. Couples become stuck in these patterns,  so the underlying hurt remains unresolved. Melbourne's couples therapy allows them to understand what underlies their partner's reactions. It allows couples to respond to each other, so couples can be free from defensive patterns of interaction.

Couple therapy in Melbourne provides a safe atmosphere for couples to open up to each other. This allows the couple to reach the real essence of how they feel. When they see what is really behind their behaviours, they understand each other and let down their emotional walls.

Couples therapy  processes the hurt, allowing partners to get in touch with their feelings, so that they can express them in a way that gets heard. Instead of reacting, partners can feel more cohesive in themselves and secure in their marriage. Marriage counselling encourages spouses to take ownership for their part and see their partner more clearly, while becoming free from misinterpreting and misunderstanding each other. Relationship counselling allows couples get to the underlying feelings behind their actions so they can respond to each other's feelings.

When couples stay stuck in self-perpetuating defensive behaviour, it can alert them that the couple need to see a couples therapist to avoid things escalating. Warning signs can be seen as criticizing each other, stonewalling or withdrawing from the marriage. If these relationship difficulties arise, it is time to seek couples therapy at Counselling in Melbourne.

What to expect in relationship therapy

Couples counselling diffuses blame and locates the responsibility for change within the individual. Individuals do not always see the part they play in the marriage, since we all have unconscious blind spots that get in the way of seeing ourselves and the impact we have on others.

These defensive reactions are caused by avoiding underlying emotions, which are triggered by their partner, and lead to destructive patterns of behaviour. If each partner overlooks their own part, and focuses on their partners, they avoid changing.

Melbourne's therapy for couples assists each partner to be aware of the unconscious part they play in their relationship and how they interact with each other, so they can resolve stuck patterns of interaction. Couples therapy dismantles defensive behaviour, helps couples express underlying hurt and attune to each other's feelings.

Build a stronger foundation for your relationship with our Melbourne Couple Therapy Service.

Counselling for couples integrates emotionally focused therapy, psychoanalysis, attachment therapy and systemic modalities into a coherent framework for treating couples. Our Melbourne couples therapist has postgraduate training couples and family therapy

Before you seek relationship counselling you can check the qualifications that your therapist has specifically in couples work. According to Professor Lawrie Moloney, a former senior researcher at the Australian Institute of Family Studies, more harm can be done by seeing a therapist without specific training in couples therapy, "Quite a few people are willing to work with couples or families without being adequately trained in working with more than one individual".

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