Changing Your Mindset To Captivate True Love.

In attracting the love you want, it’s easy to get swept up in the romance until you realize the relationship was not what you intended it to be. If this sounds familiar, you may be wondering how you can find lasting love. So what is the key to unlocking the love you want? Well, it stems from changing your mindset to captivate true love.

So, how does changing your mindset attract the love you want?

If you struggle with a ‘lack of worth mindset’ then you can easily feel you do not deserve real love, all because you do not feel worthy enough. This false belief can set you back in attracting the kind of love you truly deserve, so you do not go for what you really want in relationships. So you accept what you feel worthy of.

The way you feel about yourself reflects what you think you deserve, if you feel not good enough you can put up with things that are not good for you.

As an attempt to feel good enough, you can attach yourself to how someone makes you feel, rather than get to know the real person. You can fall in love with a fantasy of what you want, and when the fantasy diminishes, you lose that loving feeling.

But when you get hooked on the feeling, it is easy to respond in ways to try to get back that loving feeling, especially if your pining for unmet love.

The notion of romantic love can be an illusion, a hope and even a fantasy that you create to restore the feelings of what remains unmet when you’re longing to be loved.

When you suffer a ‘lack of worth mindset’, you end up projecting that the other person has everything to offer, instead of seeing that you have everything to offer. So you turn to the other person to get the love you want instead of giving yourself the love you want.

Sadly, no one can change the way you feel about yourself, except for you.

Maybe you’ve put all your hopes in a partner such that you end up compromising yourself in order to get the love you want. You can end up losing yourself in trying to get validation from your partner in a way that your happiness becomes determined by how they treat you.

All this causes you to feel unloved, mostly because you are looking for love outside of yourself, rather than looking for love within yourself.

How can you be captivating to find the right person for you? What can you do so you can capture real love?

Key Mindset Shifts To Manifesting Real Love:  

Know you are worthy if you want to find true love.

It is important to know your worth, as a key component in order to attract real love.  It is essential that you value yourself, and do not give yourself away to get the love you want by sacrificing your needs or wants. If you see potential in a partner, take the time to get to know the person before you invest yourself into a relationship. If the person is serious, they will start to invest in you.

Ask yourself – is this person worthy of your love?

Turn the table so it is about you being worthy, not finding someone in order to feel worthy for them.

Learn to validate your own worth.

You are responsible for your own happiness, so do not look to others in order to feel good enough, but turn to yourself to be worthy and focus on being your actual self. Once you accept your imperfect self as good enough, you will flourish and feel confident to get the love you truly deserve.

You are responsible for validating your worth, not others. This means having compassion towards yourself for anything that made you feel less than, and remember this page that this doesn’t have to define you anymore, so you can make room for yourself.

Stop searching for external approval.

Self-acceptance can only come from you, it cannot come from the other, otherwise your happiness is contingent upon living up to the approval of others in order to feel good enough.

Adopt a self abundance mindset

When you change your mindset to being worthy, instead of unworthy, you will feel worthy of the kind of relationship that is good for you.

When you work on yourself, you stop thinking the other has everything you need, so you stop pining for someone special in order to escape the unworthiness you feel, hoping they can make you feel good enough.

When you work on yourself, you start feeling good enough and don’t need someone to feel good enough. So, you can attract the love that is right for you, not the fairy tale love you pine for.  When you adopt an abundance mindset, you can see you have everything to offer a partner.

Heal yourself.

You  are responsible for your healing. You can end up feeling unloved when you want your partner to make up for your lack of self worth and expect things from them that they are not responsible for, which can prevent you from having the love you want. You cannot hold someone accountable for your healing, but you can learn to love yourself in order to express realistic needs to your partner.

Sometimes your partner will trigger unwanted feelings inside of you, that cause you to feel not good enough. When you can get in touch with your feelings and not give into them, you are free to be your authentic self. Healing your feelings means they no longer control you, so you can separate yourself from them.

Set your limits and boundaries.

Do not accept what is not good for you. Avoid holding onto relationships if your partner doesn’t treat you good enough, especially if they do not consider how you feel, but only sees you as a person who has to meet their own needs. It is perfectly reasonable to let go of what brings you down, so you can make room for someone who takes responsibility for their actions and is responsive to your needs, within the bounds of reality. It is time to move on if a partner doesn’t have genuine feelings towards you, but only see’s you as an extension of their own needs.

When you feel good enough, you will allow yourself to be responsible for advocating for yourself, setting boundaries and limits in relationships, so you accept what is good enough for you, not living according to the needs of others.

Be the person you want to attract.

Avoid trying to find your needs in other’s, by hoping they automatically fulfill your unmet needs, and meet your own needs within yourself, so you can be the person you want to attract and give yourself the love you deserve.

Change the way you treat yourself, so other people treat you in accordance with how you treat yourself. Speak to yourself the way you want a partner to speak with you. Once you attend to your own needs, you can give that same love and empathy to a partner. Give yourself the same love you want from a partner.

Change Your Mindset To Attract The Love Of Your Life.

If you come from the mindset of feeling unworthy, you will feel undeserving of real love and not go for what you really deserve, but if you shift your mindset to an abundance mindset you will see you’re worthy of real love.

By searching for love outside of yourself, you will maintain the belief that you’re unworthy until you work on yourself. If you want to capture true love, then you must give up the fantasy that someone else is going to give you what you need. You are the person who has to give you what you need. This means you must change your relationship with yourself, not change the other person so they give you what you need.

When you can find love within yourself, you can manifest the love you truly desire.

When you treat yourself the way you want others to treat you, you can get the real love you deserve. When you stop looking for love outside of yourself and look for love within yourself, you will accept the kind of love that is good enough.

You can shift to an abundance mindset instead of an unworthy mindset. You will attract the person your heart desires if you feel worthy of love, and give yourself the love you want. When you radiate from within, you will have the self worth to go for what you really want and captivate the person you truly desire.

Nancy Carbone is a relationship expert who has a M.Soc Sc (couns). If you want to capture the love you want, contact Nancy at  Counselling Service Melbourne. You can sign up on her newsletter for free advice and tips, follow her on Facebook  or Instagram