Causes of Marriage Breakdown
There are some indicators for the causes of marriage breakdown? How do couples know when their marriage needs some help? Many relationships can appear that they are working, but are lacking intimacy or connection because they ignore issues and do not resolve them. After a while, the spark disappears, causing marriage breakdown.
What are the Causes for Marriage Breakdown?
It is worth noting that the ways couples protect themselves actually causes marriage breakdown. Simply trying to make each other happy, by accommodating each partners needs, doesn’t maintain a healthy relationship in the long term. In fact, it often leads to bitter resentment or withdrawing from each other, when couples feel that their own needs are not met. They start to stop caring for their spouse, sometimes drifting apart from each other. If they do not express their needs, concerns or raise issues that affect them, then they become disinterested in the in each other causing marital breakdown. When the things that matter to them get ignored or they’ve given up aspects of their life for the relationship, then relationship breakdown occurs. The more that spouses feel that their life is not fulfilling their needs, they feel unsatisfied because they are not living a self fulfilled life. Failing to activate their self or register what they feel, means they live a lifeless marriage. So, it makes sense that couples detach, fall apart or end their relationship, without marriage guidance resolutions.
A healthy relationship begins with having a healthy sense of self. If you have a cohesive sense of self, you are more likely to know how you feel, so you can express yourself when it is necessary. Those who have deficits in their self, cannot get in touch with their self, needs or feelings, so they cannot take care of themselves, to get their needs met. A healthy self means you know how you would like to be treated and be able to make a stand for yourself, so you can protect yourself. Making a stand for ones self, makes a stand for healthy relationship, Letting your partner know when something upsets you, means you are likely to be respected in the marriage.
Marital discord occurs when it becomes unsafe for spouses to raise issues with each other, so the issues get way out of hand, building tension. If hurt feelings cannot be expressed, heard or received in the relationship, then the couple cannot rebuild the relationship. Inn marriage guidance counselling, expressing these underlying feelings, builds connection and understanding. Yet, often, spouses do not know what they feel underneath their angry reactions, because the issues get on top of them.
How to prevent marriages to breakdown
Marriage counselling assists couples to dismantles the defensive reactions and get in touch with what actually hurts them, so that it builds connection and understanding. Once their partners can see what underlies their behaviour, they feel more understanding and less likely to react. When distressed, partners get caught in their anger, so the only way they can escape the anger is to blame or attack their spouse. So their partner does not get to hear the real feelings. Instead, their partner counter attacks or distances. Often couples get so caught in the emotional whirlwind, that they can lose grip on themselves and each other. Counselling assists spouses to hear and respond to what really goes on for each other, without reacting. So they can rebuild the marital bond, move past stuckness, so they can feel more secure, close and connected.
Marital disconnection, detachment and despair
When spouses attend martial counselling, couples often feel exhausted from fighting, arguing or feeling futile that nothing they do can get through to their partner. They feel marital disconnection, detachment and despair. Often the ways couples cope can actually work against their relationship. Counselling in Melbourne for married couples, works at building the self for each partner, so they can each feel more stable, so they can deal with relationship difficulties. While, it dismantles the defensive behaviours, so couples feel safer to raise all kinds of issues. Once they feel their own emotions are more manageable, they become less reactive and can begin to express their feelings, without aggravating their spouse. Couples therapy assists spouses to communicate more effectively with each other, reducing the anxiousness, anger and hurt . enquire about marriage guidance solutions
As a relationship therapist at Counselling Service Melbourne, Nancy Carbone has a M Soc Soc (Couns). If you want help rebuilding your marriage contact Nancy for an appointment. You can sign up on her newsletter for free tips and relationship advice.
Call 0449 861 147 use the enquiry form
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