How your past can sabotage your relationship

Are  you constantly finding you’re have same the reactions to each relationship? Somehow you end up feeling the same way? Do you constantly feel rejected, because you’re looking into things that are not there and creating scenarios in your head, so that you push your partner away, when they feel wrongly accused. So, you constantly relive your past childhood feelings of rejected, that get acted out, as a way to project these feelings out. So your partner ends up becoming the person who rejects you, by feeling pushed away, so you constantly relive this feeling over again.

Your past can sabotage your relationships, by reliving old relational patterns that keep on occurring. Unless one can work through unresolved areas of their life, mobilising them to move forward, by improving their functioning  in their ‘self’ and relating to love ones. Our past becomes the lenses that we use to see our partner and shapes how secure we feel within ourselves, depending of whether our attachment needs have been met. If not met, we are forever searching for our  partner to fulfil them for us, reliving our past longings, hurts and repressed desires. Melbourne Counselling services works at a deeper level to improve functioning, within their ‘self’,  so individuals can see their spouses more clearly, can express themselves and negotiate their needs in their relationships, while relate in a more attuned way, preventing issues from re-occurring and sabotaging relationships.

Defensive behaviour can sabotage your relationships and drive partners further

Defensive behaviour can sabotage your relationships and drive partners further away.   Hostile conflict, stonewalling, attacking each other and shutting down are unwanted behaviours that are the manifestation of unresolved emotions,  that can get in the way, destroy relationships or push partners away.

Couples therapy and relationship counselling helps clients target the underlying issue; lessening the debilitating impact  on partners and  overcoming them with persistence.

Become free from  blind spots that get in the way of seeing your ‘self’ and others.  Counselling in Melbourne,  assists many to overcome the negative  ways of seeing themselves and others, so that they stop sabotaging their relationships. Let go of feelings that belong to the past and not project them on to partners where they do not belong. Often negative feelings that remain repressed and become projected on to loved ones, so we often   see them as critical of us, rather than see the self-critic within us.  Providing counselling for depression  many individuals with depression  distort how they see others, through the negative feelings they have. Often these negative projections are out of our awareness and distort how we see ourselves and others. Therapy assists in changing how they see themselves and others, so they can respond to each others real needs, not projected fantasies

Counselling Melbourne assists many to transform how they feel about themselves and others.  A counselor provides containment of unwanted feelings, so  negative thoughts and feelings  can become modified and changed. So  these unwanted feelings can be tolerated and managed within the self, so they do not need to be projected onto others, so they stop hurting loved ones.

Resolve past feelings from sabotaging your relationships

Resolve past feelings from sabotaging your relationship, so you can see your partner from a clearer lens, rather then distorted by ones past cargivers. At times, a person is not aware of what is affecting them, they become unclear as to whether their partner is causing them to feel a particular way or if these feelings belong deep within themselves and become triggered. It takes the specialised expertise  to capture the essence of the problem and work through it with a counselor. By obtaining insight into ones self”, individuals can recover from  chaotic relationships and move forward, feeling free to embrace others, in a whole hearted way. So they do not remain stuck with self-defeating behaviours that work against their relationships.

As a relationship therapist Nancy Carbone has a M Soc Sc (Couns) at Counselling Service Melbourne.  If you stop sabotaging your relationships contact Nancy for an appointment. You can sign up on her newsletter for more tips and relationship advice. 

If you would like an appointment call 0449 861 147 or use the enquiry form

All content is copyright 2017 Nancy Carbone