Why do many individuals await for their perfect sole mate, and how does this blind them, creating disillusionment and heartache? How is real intimacy achieved?

 Preventing relationship break up

Preventing relationship break up is not always easy. Many are on the conquest to find the perfect sole mate, who can give them unconditional love. Yet they become disappointed when the person they wanted does not meet their needs. After the honeymoon stage is over, the real relationship begins, as partners give up trying to please each other; while they start to see each other’s flaws. The daily grind of routine takes over relationships, so that  partner cannot be  available to meet all their needs, creating a disappointment or let down. The fantasy of finding the perfect sole mate can actually create a disillusionment about what to expect from relationships.

The search for love can lead many to put lots of effort in  to recreate that magical moment at the beginning. Many will sacrifice their life, move countries or devote themselves entirely to their partner, hoping the love will be given back. Yet they become hurt or angry when their partner does not return the hard work and efforts that they put in the relationship. By giving one’s self up or losing everything for the sake of the relationship, leaves them feeling empty and alone, where resentment takes over.Many of these individuals feel that what seemed a magical romance actually ends up becoming ones nightmare. If you change your whole life to accommodate your relationship, sacrificing oneself; then this can  cause the relationship to end badly.

Preventing marriage break up

Preventing marriage break up requires one to express themselves. A healthy relationship requires a healthy sense of self. By attending to our own needs allows us to feel whole and happy on the inside.  Looking for happiness in others, causes many to feel anxious, depressed and alone. Relying on others to make us feel good about ourselves is unrealistic, it escapes one from facing painful feelings inside, by looking for others to take it away. Relationship counselling in Melbourne offers individuals the opportunity to work on their self or relationship, with either couples counselling or therapy for individuals who want to rebuild their self so they can foster more meaningful relationships. Seeing a psychotherapist or relationship specialist can resolve these relationship patterns so they do not become repeated and continually acted out. Many spouses will project their past hurts or unmet needs onto their partner, hoping that their quest for love will be finally met, but sadly this relives their pain and distress, leading relationships to breakdown. Many enter therapy when they reached the depths of their despair, to avoid these hurts, and actually end up reliving all the anxiety and depression that they attempted to avoid.

In order to prevent relationship break up, many partners who attend Counselling Service Melbourne when they avoid expressing themselves with their own thoughts, feelings or ideas, as a fear of couples conflict. So they forego their own individual identity or aspects of themselves to meet the expectations of their spouse. Giving up one’s own individual thoughts and feelings, for the sake of preserving a marriage, can actually end up working against themselves and the couple bond, causing marriage breakdown. When couples feel that something is missing, that they are not living their own life , they begin to find flaws in their relationship, as the cause for their unhappiness, not seeing how they participated in re-creating these couples dynamics, by giving themselves up, that causes them to drift apart. Rather than communicating ones thoughts or feelings to resolve relational issues, couples usually end up acting out their unmet needs or anger by having marital affairs, addictions, showing anger outburst and rage when they become explosive at seemingly irreverent things. All of sudden their spouse see’s them as the abusive partner or the drunk who does not care how they treat them. Whatever does not get expressed becomes acted out aggressively towards ones spouse, further pushing them away, rather than allowing themselves to be heard or understood for how they feel.

How to prevent relationship breakup

Marriage counselling Melbourne can dismantle destructive relational patterns that causes couples to become stuck, so they can get in touch with themselves, resolve marital discord and overcome relationship breakdown. By unlocking the barriers to intimacy, partners can begin to feel a closer connection, as they share aspects of themselves and foster deeper  intimacy between them, in a real way. As partners let go of bitter resentment, they have more capacity to respond to each others emotional needs. When partners receive an attuned response with understanding, they can move past relational ruptures and restore the couple bond, preventing relationship break up.

For Counselling Melbourne contact us regarding couples therapy Melbourne services on 0449 861147 or use the quick consultation form