Improving Couple Communication


improve couples communicationCommunication gets lost when couples do not understand how they each feel or what they’re to express to each other. In order to express themselves they get caught in defensive reactions, when protecting themselves from underling feelings that get triggered by each other.  Couples lose grip  on themselves and as they allow past wounds to distort the way they hear their partner, misreading each other. Couples therapy improves couple communication with our  relationship counselling service. We’ve discovered that the more one shuts down their emotions, the less they are able to access needs and wants.  Our emotions informs us about what we need and want, it informs us about decisions we need to make. When emotions are shut down, it is hard for us to know what we want, so we cannot access our needs or negotiate them in our relationship. Often communication difficulties emerge when  couples feels their needs are not met and feels unsatisfied in the marriage,  when they couldn’t self activate and express their needs. When couples do not know what they feel, they cannot express themselves in a relationship, until they can access their feelings in therapy by clearly articulating how they feel. When couples can express themselves to each other, by accessing feelings, they can communicate in a non defensive way, to get heard  .

Improving Communication problems in couples

Providing counselling in Melbourne for couples, to enhance communication, we have found many individuals shut down their own emotions and needs in their relationship, to safe guard themselves from feeling rejected if their needs are ignored.   When needs are not met, many indirectly act out their needs in ways that hurt each other, such as having an affair or withdrawing affection or becoming critical. Overcome communication breakdown, by getting in touch with emotional experiences, allowing individuals  to understand what they actually need from the relationship. Improve Couple communication by articulating and asserting your needs, clearly and directly to your partner, overcoming communication problems. Marriage counselling assists individuals to express their attachments needs and respond to others, while assert  themselves with their needs and wants.

Tips to express yourself in your relationship

  • Never speak in the heat of the moment
  • Wait until you’ve had time to digest your feelings, so that you can work out if what your feelings belongs to your past or present situation.
  • If you’ve realised that your partner has hurt you, bring up the issue once things are safe to do so.
  • If you raise the issue when they’re still defensive or feeling triggered, they will not hear you and perhaps feel attacked.
  • Never accuse your partner for how you feel
  • Express how you feel, as oppose to say ” you did this to me”.
  • Avoid saying ” you always”, “you never”
  • Replace “you” statements with “I” statements…..” I feel hurt when you say….”
  • Express facts or actual behaviours as oppose to judge or label the other persons.
  • Address the behaviour not pathologize the person

For enquires at Counselling Melbourne call 0449 861 147 or use the  enquiry form page

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